This Valentine's Day, I want you to try something different.
I want you to fall in love.
Yes. You read correctly.
And I don’t mean to say ‘be loved.’ That’s something a teenager would say. What I’m daring you to do is something much more defining – dare to love another human being.
There’s a certain kind of happiness you experience from loving someone. In loving, we strive to be our best selves. We celebrate being human.
Loving is good for the soul.
I guess you expect it to just happen to you. As if love was an event. You meet an attractive stranger’s eye across a crowded room and it’s on, right?
Well, not quite.
But I know something that certainly helps.
It begins with 36 questions.
In case you missed the crazy popular New York Times article, 2 people begin by asking each other a series of escalating personal questions. And, because the level of intimacy gradually increases with time, you don’t notice you’re in the deep end of the pool until you’re already there.
You’ll learn something about yourself. You’ll enjoy learning about your partner even more. We all have a story about ourselves that we tell to others, but these questions make it impossible to rely on it.
It’s the kind of intimacy you get from camping or travelling. Staying up all night with a new friend, it feels natural to get to know someone that quickly.
Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. I prefer to think of love as an action. Something you choose to do.
You can’t choose who loves you, although I’m sure we’ve all spent a part of our single lives convinced otherwise. You can’t create romance from convenience or compatibility.
All you can do is give it a chance with someone who is willing to do the same. You may be surprised at how it turns out - you don’t agree to try something designed to create romance if you’re not open to it happening.
Love doesn’t just happen to us.
We’re in love because we choose to be.
Think you’re up to it?
Coming up next: 36 Questions to Fall in Love with Anyone
Jak Nguyen is a Melbourne Marriage Celebrant with over a decade of experience in the wedding industry. Connect on Facebook and hit that 'Like' button!
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