Love, in 36 Questions

In my previous article I mentioned how 2 people can accelerate their intimacy by asking each other a series of escalating personal questions.

What normally takes weeks, months or even years to achieve can now be done in a single conversation.

These questions are broken up into 3 sets, each more personal than the last. This Valentine's Day have these out and open, ready to go on your phone.

Do people actually fall in love from doing this? Yes. Yes they do.

Keep in mind, you don't agree to try something designed to create romance if you’re not open to it happening. Are you ready?

Let’s get started. 

Set 1

1. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. What was the last thing you taught yourself how to do? Why did you want to learn it?

4. What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To another person?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. What are your biggest passions in life? What activities do you do to indulge them?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be? 

Set 2

13. If you could know the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm are your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set 3

25. Make three true ‘we’ statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling...”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share...”

27. If you were going to become close with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them - be very honest, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your home catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most upsetting? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Ask your partner to reflect back to you how you feel about the problem you have chosen.

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Jak Nguyen is a Melbourne Marriage Celebrant with over a decade of experience in the wedding industry. Connect on Facebook and hit that 'Like' button! 

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